Puzzled: A Memoir About Growing Up with OCD is a vulnerable yet encouraging graphic novel memoir in which Irish cartoonist Pan Cooke shares his experience with undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Puzzled starts with 10-year-old Pan describing his bedtime routine: saying the Hail Mary prayer "again and again" because he gets "this feeling like something is wrong." Pan calls this unsettledness "the Puzzle"--each new prayer attempt "is a piece to it. But the more I add... the harder the solution becomes." Spiraling, counting, doubting, and obsessing take the place of praying as Pan becomes a teenager. Finally, during one of his many late-night thought spirals and Internet searches, he finds something that feels like "a piece that fits": a description of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Pan, armed with this new knowledge, accepts that he'll never solve the Puzzle, but with the help of friends, family, and therapy, he can get better.
In his debut, Cooke cleverly uses accessible situations and imaginative visuals to portray what he feels and experiences as a person with OCD: a snowball tumbling down the side of a mountain is building worry; a spinning film reel is doubt and intrusive thoughts; anxiety and fear are palpable as the bright-colored panels become dark and muted during thought spirals. Cooke deftly incorporates discussions of loneliness, disordered eating, and hypochondria, all offshoots of his OCD. He shares the different types and symptoms of the disorder and addresses stereotypes, such as the idea that OCD means a person is clean or organized. This window into the life of a person with OCD is affirming and eye-opening. --Lana Barnes, freelance reviewer and proofreader