Quit Calling Me a Monster

Can't a purple, furry, bean-shaped fellow ride his bicycle in peace without school buses of kids screaming in fright and people calling him... a monster?

He's serious: "It really hurts my feelings. I'm no monster!" His horns, wild eyes, "clompy feet," fangs, long toenails and "huge, toothy smile that glows in the dark" should not justify such boorish name-calling. He says he shouldn't be called a monster just because he might happen to be under the bed, or "Just because I roar./ And scream./ And holler./ And whoop./ And cackle./ And howl at the moon./ And howl at the sun." This poor purple soul can't even shop for groceries, scrutinizing the cereal-box ingredients with his pink reading glasses, without some kid yelling for his mommy. How rude. It's not like he goes around calling children "little meat snack" or anything. His name is Floyd Peterson, and people should call him that.

Jory John (author of Goodnight Already!; co-author of The Terrible Two) and Bob Shea (the Dinosaur vs. series)--the creators of I Will Chomp You!--whoop it up in this very funny picture book sure to inspire countless dramatic echoes of "I'm no monster!" (Poor Floyd, who loves flowers and baguettes, is so misunderstood.) Shea's bright, bold, electric illustrations sizzle with monster energy and will generate far more giggles than shrieks, just as Floyd would want it. --Karin Snelson, children's & YA book editor, Shelf Awareness

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