The Life Brief: A Playbook for No-Regrets Living by Bonnie Wan ($27.99, 9781982195502, January 16, 2024).
.jpg)
LET'S BE BRIEF
What do you want?
It's a simple question, right? We ask it all the time, when deciding what to eat, how to spend our day, or what we'd like for our birthday. But that's not what I'm asking.
I'm not asking, what are you in the mood for, or what do you think you want? And I'm definitely not asking, what do your parents, your partner, or your friends want for you.
What I'm asking is this: In your heart of hearts, what do you really, really want? What do you want in your life that you haven't even admitted to yourself?
This is the driving question of the Life Brief.
What Is a Life Brief?
The most important tool used by every strategist and creative agency is what's known as a "creative brief." This single-page, single-minded document concisely yet vividly captures a company's essence and ambition. Great briefs distill complex problems into sharp and sticky strategies that focus our attention, unlock solutions, and inspire action.
When drafting creative briefs, strategists use questions to guide, if not force, clarity about the essential building blocks of a brand. The flow of these questions on a single page pushes you to connect the dots and culminates in a single-minded strategic idea for a company's future direction.
The Life Brief is, at its simplest, a creative brief for your life.
But because you're not a brand, the Life Brief doesn't follow the same format as the creative briefs we write for brands. What we're aiming for here are five clear, bold, declarative statements about what you want in the areas of your life that matter most, summed up in a sharp and sticky phrase that you can use to guide your decisions and drive your actions.
This sounds simple, but it's a transformative process. In order to get to statements that are focused, specific, and above all, penetratingly honest, we first need to go wide—with warm-ups, exercises, reflective prompts, and questions designed to unlock your curiosity, creativity, and clarity.
Ultimately, the Life Brief is a practice of alignment between who you are, what you believe, and how you live—one that begins with that crucial question:
What do you really, really want?
If you cringe at the question or find it off-putting, that's okay.
I've been there myself, resisting anything that smells of or signals self-help.
But here's what I've learned. If we never allow ourselves to ask and honestly answer this simple question, we run the risk of never getting what we want. If we don't check in with ourselves about our own dreams and desires, we might end up following someone else's plans, feeling con- fused about our own, or lost as to why we're feeling unfulfilled.
Applying this practice to my life has deepened and saved my marriage (not once, but twice), centered my parenting, and propelled my career far beyond what I could have imagined. It's helped me turn those nagging questions that once felt agonizing and unthinkable into spring- boards for action.
It's why I've come to think of the Life Brief as the shortest path between where you are now and what you really, really want.
There are many wonderful healing tools, practices, and programs out there—I've certainly benefitted from some of them—but what sets the Life Brief apart is that it's specifically designed to cut through the clutter and get right to the heart of what matters most.
So, here's my invitation to you. Suspend your doubts and disbelief. Jump in and give this practice a go. Ask the question. Let it sink in and stir. Your answer might end up surprising you.
Get Messy, Get Clear, Get Active
The Life Brief has three distinct parts: Get Messy, Get Clear, and Get Active. The first phase, Get Messy, will guide you through the disarray and confusion clogging your mind, blocking you from realizing what's underneath: your sacred soul desires. It gives you the space to explore what you really, really want with honesty so that you can be present with what arises. Getting Messy will help you identify the brilliant and deeply personal "threads" of your life—your unique collection of values, beliefs, and desires—and shake them all out onto the table, using questions and creative exercises to stoke, stimulate, and cajole them into expression.
Once you've given yourself permission to Get Messy, the next step is to sort and separate what matters from what doesn't. Getting Clear is about working with the vibrant yet chaotic pile of threads you've collected when Getting Messy—to understand the role each plays in your life so that you can weave them together into a beautiful tapestry. This stage is a process of distilling, sharpening, and zeroing in on the essence of what you want—then pushing it to its boldest place.
Finally, Getting Active is where we walk the walk of our Briefs, harnessing our personal agency and understanding that it is we who are the creators of our lives, not our circumstances. This is where the dance between you and the world takes place. You'll see how your actions invite new reactions and interactions from people around you. This is a dance where tiny movements generate huge effects, where surprising outcomes are revealed in serendipitous ways. You'll practice staying committed to your Life Brief, working through fears as they arise. You'll be tested, taken to the edges of doubt and disillusionment before each breakthrough. So many times, I've come to the cliff of giving up or giving in, when surrendering to what is unlocks the magic of what will be.
During each phase, I will share questions, prompts, and exercises to help you break through the clutter, identify the fears and beliefs holding you back, and create a Life Brief—and a life—that is wholly your own.
I'm also going to share my story, along with the stories of others who used this practice to declare what they so desperately desired. But make no mistake: this book is about you. These stories are here to walk you through the practice of moving from mess to clarity to action, but while everyone's life circumstances are unique, the journey is universal.
The Life Brief is designed to light you up and awaken parts of yourself that have been dormant. It asks you to use muscles you may not have used in a while. So, if Getting Messy is hard, know that Getting Clear is just around the corner. If taking action is overwhelming, remember that you only have to take one step at a time. If you feel uncomfortable with one of the exercises, trust that another one is on the way. Do one part, take one small action, look at one tiny area for change at a time. You'll be surprised by how much a tiny step forward can affect everything—and how little momentum you need to keep pushing ahead with it.
Fight back against your impulse to settle for a life full of agonizing what-ifs. Fight back against the fear of what you might find on the other side of your mess. On the other side of fear is hope. And just beyond that hope is the change you've been searching for.
If you've ever thought, It's over. I'm done. Or, I can't do this anymore . . . If you've ever made pros and cons lists about a job or relationship . . .
If you've ever lain awake at night as the questions swirled but brought you no closer to resolution . . . trust that this practice is designed to turn these painful experiences into tools for self-discovery, clarity, and action.
Trust that what you really, really want is already inside you, simply waiting to be unlocked.
---
 |
|
| (Photograph by Emilio Diaz @GS&P) | |
Bonnie Wan is an author and speaker, as well as partner and head of brand strategy at the world-renowned advertising agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners. As creator of The Life Brief, Bonnie helps people live with greater clarity, creativity, and courage by teaching them how to write creative briefs for their lives. The Life Brief is a practice based on her belief that "you cannot have it all, but you can have all that matters." The Life Brief has evolved from an agency talk into a workbook, workshops, and speaking appearances at Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop, Jane Goodall's Activating Hope Summit, the 3% Conference, SXSW, Bain & Company, Google, Apple, Change.org, and more. It has now evolved into the book you see before you.