The Halloween card did it.
I was working an otherwise normal
bookstore shift last weekend when a customer asked, "Where's your
Halloween card section?" Halloween cards? I knew there was such a
section, and I was happy to escort her there, but a little voice in my
head still yapped at me: Why would people send Halloween cards?
I've never received one.
Maybe I'm just bitter.
Still,
the question jolted me toward thoughts of Halloween, as, I suppose, did
one of the more irresistible cards, with its photo of a jolly, rotund
nun and the words: "Might as well have a great time on Halloween."
Inside, the punch line, literally and figuratively, was, "You're going
to fry anyway."
Since I now find myself wrenched into the true
spirit of the season, I have transformed the bookstore websiteseeing
bus into a jack-o-lantern pumpkin coach and set off to discover what
ghoulish Halloween delights are brewing among booksellers online.
At
first it gets really scary, kids. I check in with more than a dozen
websites, and it's as if the Grinch has struck again and stolen another
holiday. Halloween is nowhere to be found. One bookstore site sends a
chill up my spine with its announcement to "check out our new summer
hours." I picture a virtual Miss Haversham's wedding cake.
There's even a seasonally-appropriate word for such places: cobwebsite.
Now that's scary.
So
I take a deep breath, whistle past the graveyard of
abandoned websites, and head to the logical starting point for a
witching hour--Salem, Mass., where Cornerstone Books
promises "Lots of Treats, and No Tricks This October," including an
author appearance at the House of Seven Gables and "old-time Japanese
monster movies playing all month alongside horror master Vincent Price
on the silver screen."
Now we're talking.
In Richmond, Va., Fountain Bookstore
offers counter-programming to the candy frenzy by claiming that
"Creeeeepy books abound here at Fountain. . . . Books have less
calories and more fiber than candy." Since the National Confectioners
Association estimates that about 20 million pounds of candy corn sells
per year, what if 10 million pounds of that total were converted into
book sales instead? Certainly would make a lot of booksellers' lives
less frightening.
A "Halloweenie Puppet Show" is on tap at BookPeople,
Austin, Tex., "brought lovingly to you by the Almost Professional
BookPeople Playing Puppeteers," who will offer "a mishmash of Halloween
stories all put together (very cleverly) to make a puppet show for
you."
Olsson's Crystal City bookstore, Arlington, Va., will host an event with NPR Pop culture critic Eric Nuzum, author of The Dead Travel Fast: Stalking Vampires from Nosferatu to Count Chocula, which Chuck Klosterman calls "the definitive look at why society loves the man who's not in the mirror."
What's the scariest story you've ever read? Jabberwocky Bookshop,
Newburyport, Mass., is conducting a poll on its website. Shirley
Jackson's "The Lottery" gets my vote because I've always been convinced
that when it comes to horror stories, we have nothing to fear but each
other.
"Red wine, sharp cheese, the glow of candles. Bring a
friend and join us for ghost stories after dark." That's the spine-and
taste-tingling proposition offered by the Kaleidoscope: Our Focus Is You, Hampton, Iowa, which will offer "Stories By Candlelight."
Russo's Marketplace Books, Bakersfield, Calif., Wild Rumpus Books, Minneapolis, Minn., and Other Tiger,
Westerly, R.I., are among the booksense.com stores featuring a
selection called "Scary Spooky Books for Teens," designed for readers
who have "become too cool to ask for candy . . . and no way are you
dragging yourself around in a silly costume. Suddenly, Halloween is
more about exploring the darker, sinister side of the holiday--if not
yourselves."
Staff Picks have taken a ghoulish turn at University Bookstore,
Seattle, Wash., where appropriately spooky recommendations are listed
from "Jack O'Lantern" Jay, "Monster" Mechio, "Zombie" Zoska,
"Poltergeist" Pam and "All Hallow's Eve" Ann.
The Golden Notebook,
Woodstock, N.Y., showcases a selection of "Halloween Thrillers" with an
irresistible lead: "You're reading compulsively. One after another the
pages turn. The plot hurtles along. Your eyes scan the pages quickly.
Your pulse pounds. The pacing is quick, and the mystery runs deep and
unpredictable. Nothing beats a great mystery!"
And nothing beats
having some ghoulish literary fun next week. Read scary stories, eat
your fair share of candy corn and have a great Halloween. But please,
please beware of those truly horrifying cobwebsites. They'll be the
death of us yet.--Robert Gray (column archives available at Fresh Eyes Now)