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| (photo: John Russo) | |
Nicole Avant is an American producer and political strategist who served as U.S. ambassador to the Bahamas (2009-2011). Think You'll Be Happy (HarperOne, October 17, 2023), Avant's first book, is part memoir, part self-help book. It details the story of Avant's life through the prism of her mother's life and death--she was fatally shot during a home invasion in 2021--and how Avant spiritually navigated through grief.
How did this book come into being?
In 2019, after producing the documentary The Black Godfather, my big takeaway was that everyone in the film had the common makeup of grit, grace, and gratitude--and this initially pointed me toward writing a book on these themes. Then, after my mother passed, I decided to share my process and offer others what has helped me to keep going and showing up, even with a broken heart.
Who do you hope finds and reads this book?
Anyone, like me, on a journey, and hoping to find joy again even after going through the most challenging of events. I believe tomorrow is worth living for, and I hope readers will come away believing the same.
Details of your mother's fatal last night are interwoven amid personal stories as you travel through grief. How did you arrive at this structure?
Truth be told, through many trials! I wrote, I read, I re-read, and then repeated again until I got into the flow. It was a long process, and it almost made me crazy, but it was well worth it!
It sure is. Your book is steeped in psychology.
Yes, I've always been fascinated with psychology and the human condition. And I'm an eager student. I took every course available to me and read as much as possible.
What interested you--what did you read?
As a young girl, I wanted to understand people like Anne Frank and American civil rights activist Ruby Bridges. How did they get through life with such sound minds and keep their hearts from becoming hard and cruel? How did they stay grateful and not fall apart in the midst of such terrible, unjust, and cruel surroundings? What helped shape their perception and perspective about life? Both were inspirational figures to me, and led me down a path of studying the human mind and heart.
Any specific books and authors you're drawn to?
Angela's Ashes broke my heart open in the most beautiful way, and Memoirs of a Geisha is also a favorite of mine--I literally couldn't put it down. Other favorites include Eat, Pray, Love; Hello, Molly!; and Becoming by Michelle Obama. Also, self-help books by Howard Thurman, Louise Hay, Joseph Murphy, Florence Scovel Shinn, and Catherine Ponder have been very instrumental on my own journey of self-discovery.
You're an accomplished film producer. Why write a book about your experiences and not craft a documentary?
I would have loved to make a biopic on my mom--even though it would have been much more exciting with her in it. But since she loved the written word so much, and made it a point to write every day of her life--she always dreamed of becoming a professional writer or editor--I think telling her story in book form is most fitting for the journey of her soul.
From an emotional standpoint, how hard was it to write this book?
Opening and re-opening this personal tragedy was the greatest challenge. I never felt I was letting my wounds heal. However, after a few months, I realized it was the opposite--that through revisiting my emotions and feelings about my mother's life and death, I was able to purge so much anger and disappointment. It turned out to be a very cathartic experience.
What did you learn about yourself?
I've been reminded how writing heals my heart and my mind--and how the act of writing gives me a new perspective about myself and others. I've also learned discipline, and I've become more purposeful. Writing helps shape and define my individuality, and this has been a profound gift to my soul.
What a great reward!
Yes, but the greatest reward is honoring and celebrating my mother and her life via the written word.
If you could share one more day with your mother, where and how would you spend it?
I would happily spend the day alone with my mom at her home and willingly have her give me another tour of her precious Japanese lacquer collection. I'd listen more closely to her and with eagerness, joy, and reverence, I'd thank her for teaching me the value and importance of emotional healing and the ability to receive restoration in our lives through love, mercy, and accountability.
Imagine the conversation you'd have about this book…
Mom would love this book because she'd want her story to inspire others to run their race to their best ability and serve others.
Your faith in God anchors the narrative. How do you reconcile your faith with the injustice of how your mother's life ended?
I believe God is always good. I'm only disappointed in people and their actions--and for the bad and negative decisions we make as humans, which result in unnecessary pain and trauma for others. I feel this way in my mom's case, too--someone's life being taken away in such a senseless way is not only unfair and unkind, but it shows a lack of appreciation for another soul. People do the bad deeds, never the Creator of the Universe. We all have free will, and we all must take responsibility and accountability for our actions.
Your mother left a beautiful, lasting legacy. What legacy would you like to leave?
I hope people smile when they think of me, and I hope I leave a legacy of positive transformation and enlightenment.
Think You'll Be Happy is surely testament toward that end. How will you celebrate its launch?
Hopefully, I will celebrate with my entire family, our dogs, and a few close friends with a gorgeous pizza and a delicious, beautiful bottle of red wine! --Kathleen Gerard