Artist Maia Kobabe is genderqueer and uses pronouns e, em and eir. In the gorgeous and candid graphic memoir Gender Queer, e illustrates an aching journey toward reconciliation with being nonbinary and asexual.
Kobabe grew up in a progressive home, with parents who didn't enforce gender roles, but such things are socialized early in places like school and neighborhoods. The dysphoria e experienced became more acute with age; e frequently felt out of step with eir peers. There were awkward Tinder dates and excruciating Pap smears. All the while, Maia searched for an explanation, a language to assign to this internal trauma and confusion.
Midway through the book lies a two-page spread of weighted scales. Each side of holds a gender assigned at birth, as a frantic Maia piles pronouns, clothes, hair style, hormones, etc., on the other. "The end goal wasn't masculinity," e writes, "the goal was balance." Had e been assigned male at birth, e would be playing with makeup and nail polish every day.
Kobabe's drawings, colored by sister Phoebe Kobabe, casts eir life and truths in splendorous, vivid light. And the relationship between the siblings on the page is one of Gender Queer's sweetest elements. Often scared of what lies ahead, Maia confides in Phoebe, a lesbian, about eir queer hopes and fears, and is met each time with the gracious enthusiasm of a sister who has eir back: "I lucked out so hard in the sibling lottery." A challenging yet heartwarming memoir, Gender Queer succeeds on all fronts. --Dave Wheeler, associate editor, Shelf Awareness