Parents everywhere can breathe easier: "There's no such thing as flawless child-rearing." There is, however, a way to help children become empathetic and independent individuals. The goal, as psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel and psychotherapist Tina Payne Bryson define it, is "emotionally balanced, resilient, insightful, and empathetic" children. By applying the "Four S's"--making a child feel safe, seen, soothed and secure--and consistently responding to their needs, parents can create the ideal relationship of secure attachment with their child that will ultimately empower and help them emotionally self-regulate as adults.
The Power of Showing Up completes Siegel and Bryson's quartet of books on parenting and developing child psychology (The Yes Brain, No-Drama Discipline and The Whole-Brain Child). Based on research in the fields of attachment science, interpersonal neurobiology and neuroplasticity, as well as their own clinical case studies, Siegel and Bryson make the compelling case for empathy and trust as some of the most important pieces of the parenting puzzle. The authors refute concerns about spoiled, coddled or disrespectful children, and specify that their method does not mean permissive parenting; setting boundaries continues to be an essential piece of creating a secure environment. Instead, parents can "walk beside [children] through their pain, helping them see that they are strong enough to handle a difficult situation and come out okay," developing the emotional toolbox necessary for managing difficult situations in life. Offering strategies in communication, understanding and personal insight, The Power of Showing Up is a clear, compassionate instructional guide to the significant ways a shift in parental behavior can and will affect a child. Highly recommended for parents, guardians and educators seeking insight for themselves and their children. --Jennifer Oleinik, freelance writer and editor