If anyone can help couples handle marriage in the modern age, it is professor of philosophy and mindfulness expert Nate Klemp and corporate leadership expert Kaley Klemp. The husband-and-wife experts team up in their helpful book 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship to aid couples in finding "a new model of marriage, a way of being together that offers a safe haven from the stress of modern life and access to the experiences that make marriage worth fighting for."
Klemp and Klemp propose that there have been, broadly speaking, several power dynamics in marriages. The 80/20 is a model of asymmetrical power and inequality defined by a mindset of deference and control, they say, as well as a structure of rigid gender roles, that contributes to an underlying belief system of "not my job." The 50/50 model moves toward a mindset of fairness, but results in an underlying belief system of "when you win, I lose" and role confusion within the relationship. Instead, they propose a new system, the 80/80 model, where partners have a mindset of radical generosity and thus structure their relationship around shared successes to help everyone win.
With exercises in each chapter, anecdotes and plenty of their own life experience, the Klemps thoughtfully and thoroughly highlight how couples can move from patterns of conflict to creative methods of resolution; cope with myriad challenges, from shared responsibilities to setting boundaries; and unlock more spaces for intimacy in a world that intrudes more intensely and more frequently into family lives. --Michelle Anya Anjirbag, freelance reviewer