David Brooks (The Second Mountain; The Road to Character) has established himself as a distinctive voice, moderate in an era of partisanship, questioning in an age of platforms and posturing. In How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, Brooks extends his line of inquiry into how humans can improve their relationships and build a kinder, more equitable society. These are lofty goals, and Brooks would likely be the first to admit he doesn't always succeed; however, the overall effect of How to Know a Person is positive. His tone marries a gentle confidence with an appropriate amount of self-doubt. The book offers a collection of wisdom from thinkers as varied as Frederick Buechner and Iris Murdoch, as well as practical steps to see and be seen by others.
Brooks acknowledges the importance of an openhearted posture but argues "it is not enough. People need social skills." These skills are not the niceties offered by manners experts, however. They are a "series of small, concrete social actions," acts of grace and caring which could include knowing "how to sit with someone who is suffering" or "how to let someone down without breaking their heart." Brooks insists: "Each person is a mystery. And when you are surrounded by mysteries, as the saying goes, it's best to live life in the form of a question." How to Know a Person is full of excellent questions, thoughts, and ideas that will help readers probe the mysteries of themselves and those they meet. --Sara Beth West, freelance reviewer and librarian