Ruth Westheimer, "the grandmotherly psychologist who as 'Dr. Ruth' became America's best-known sex counselor with her frank, funny radio and television programs," died July 12 at age 96, the New York Times reported. Westheimer was in her 50s when she began answering listeners' mailed-in questions about sex and relationships on WYNY's Sexually Speaking, a 15-minute segment heard after midnight on Sundays. The show was such a hit that she quickly became a national media celebrity and a one-woman business conglomerate.
In addition to her widespread media celebrity, especially in the 1980s, Westheimer published more than two dozen books on sexuality, including Dr. Ruth's Guide to Good Sex (1983), First Love: A Young People's Guide to Sexual Information (with Nathan Kravetz, 1985), Dr. Ruth's Guide for Married Lovers (1986), Sex and Morality: Who Is Teaching Our Sex Standards (with Louis Lieberman, 1988), Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids (1993), and Who Am I? Where Did I Come From? (2001). Her other books include All in a Lifetime: An Autobiography (1988) and Conquering the Rapids of Life: Making the Most of Midlife Opportunities (with Pierre A. Lehu, 2003).
Westheimer was born Karola Ruth Siegel in Wiesenfeld, Germany in 1928, the only child of an Orthodox Jewish couple. Her father was a wholesaler in Frankfurt, and together with her parents and grandmother, she lived a comfortable life largely shielded from the reality that Germany was becoming ever more perilous for Jews, the Times noted, adding: "When the Nazis took her father away in 1938, her mother and grandmother managed to get her included in a group of children sent to a school in the Swiss mountains. There, she later recalled, she was educated only through the eighth grade and served for all practical purposes as a housekeeper for the Swiss children. She never saw her family again; they were all presumed murdered at Auschwitz."
In her memoir Musically Speaking: A Life Through Song (2003), she described in great detail the band concerts, folk tunes, and popular songs she had known as a happy young child in Frankfurt, Germany. The Times noted that although she was tone-deaf and not much of a music lover, "she came to realize rather late in life that these vivid recollections probably took the place of the family history she would have heard if her family life had not ended abruptly at age 10. 'The melodies and the words of the songs I knew provide a link with the past forever,' she wrote."
At the height of her popularity, Westheimer had syndicated live call-in shows on radio and television, wrote a column for Playgirl magazine, lent her name to a board game and its computer version, and began publishing guidebooks on sexuality. College campus speaking appearances alone brought in a substantial income, and she appeared in ads for cars, soft drinks, shampoo, typewriters, and condoms.
Columnist William E. Geist, who visited her for a New York Times Magazine article in 1985, observed that "she looks for all the world as though she is about to tell us in her cheery Mittel-European accent how to make a nice apple strudel.... But when she opens her mouth it's Code-Blue-in-the-family-room all across the country. She sends forth on radio and television the most explicit insert-tab-A-into-slot-B instruction in sexual manipulation, stimulation and satisfaction."
In November 2023, Dr. Westheimer was named New York State's first honorary "ambassador to loneliness" by Governor Kathy Hochul. In that position, Westheimer would "help New Yorkers of all ages address the growing issue of social isolation, which is associated with multiple physical and mental health issues," the governor said in a statement.
Dr. Ruth made the most of her attendance at the ABA, BookExpo, and Frankfurt shows, and many book world veterans have amusing stories about her cheerful, resolute ways of promoting her books and being in the spotlight. Her final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life, will be published by Rodale on September 3.
