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| James Patterson (photo: Emilio Guede) |
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Mention the name James Patterson to readers, and it's likely to bring to mind his more than 30 Alex Cross detective novels or perhaps his collaborations with celebrities like Bill Clinton. It's almost certain that no one will connect him with the subject of fatherhood. And yet, that's exactly the topic Patterson has chosen to tackle in The #1 Dad Book: Be the Best Dad You Can be--In 1 Hour! (Little, Brown; reviewed in this issue).
Patterson spoke with Shelf Awareness about the book, via Zoom, from his office in the home in Palm Beach, Fla., where he lives with his wife, Susan. They're the parents of a 27-year-old son, Jack, who works as an investment banker in New York City. "He's doing stuff that he likes," Patterson offers, "and that's a good thing."
Patterson was open and enthusiastic as he discussed the reasons for undertaking a project that seems like such a dramatic departure from his previous work. At 78, and with sales of more than 425 million books to his credit, he says a quote from the writer George Saunders has been motivating him in recent years, as he currently finds himself engaged in some 31 projects: "My time here is short. What can I do most beautifully?"
As for the specific urge behind writing a book of fatherly advice, Patterson identified what he perceives as both a widespread, serious problem and an opportunity to address it:
"You just look around and see so many lost, overwhelmed, angry, unmoored, vulnerable guys. And it's not a good thing. It's not a good thing for their families, it's not a good thing for the country, it's not a good thing for everybody. And it just seemed to me that there were things that they could think about and that they tend not to talk to one another about being fathers. For whatever reason they just don't feel comfortable talking about their families."
As he revealed in his 2022 memoir, James Patterson: The Stories of My Life, Patterson's own father, Charles Patterson, "was a quiet but tough man who came from tough times and from a tough river town." The elder Patterson grew up in a basement room in the poorhouse in Newburgh, N.Y., where his mother worked as a charwoman, and never met his own father. "They weren't homeless," Patterson writes, "but they were damn close."
When it comes to reflecting on how that background affected his own upbringing, Patterson--who didn't become a father until he was 51--readily extends his father some grace: "He was coming from a strange place in terms of figuring out how to be a father. How do you get past that and hopefully not take any of the bad habits with you?" he asks. A year of therapy helped him understand that "there's no reason we should expect our parents to be perfect. But now I understand that piece and I'm moving on."
One specific lesson Patterson took away from his childhood is the importance of hugging your children. "My only memory of hugging my father was on his deathbed. It just wasn't that kind of thing. And I never blamed him for it, but there it was. With our son Jack, I hugged him every day when he was home. He was cool with it."
That's one of the many recommendations--along with reading to your kids, knowing when to say no, and not being afraid to ask for help--Patterson offers. He recognizes he's making a bold promise that his readers can take away something meaningful from a book that can be read in only an hour, but insists he's serious about it. "It just seemed to me that a lot of guys will not read a 400-page book. I thought I could put together a lot of information that they could read in an hour, and that at the end of it, if guys pick up two or three or four things that help them to be better dads, this is a good hour spent. Because their families will benefit, their kids will benefit, their partners will benefit."
In addition to Patterson's own reflections, what makes the book so helpful and often heartwarming are the bits of fatherly wisdom he shares from other men. Some came from people in his network and others were garnered from his own research and from reaching out online. A handful are well-known--like singer John Legend and author John Green--but baseball scout Craig, filmmaker Israel, and housepainter Neal also have their say.
However well-intentioned, in writing a book of advice, Patterson was conscious of the need for readers not to feel that he was preaching at them and he described the approach he took to avoid that pitfall: "Humor helps. And being self-effacing helps, so that guys will say, 'Okay, I'm going along with this. I wouldn't mind having a beer with that guy. He's not acting like he's got all the answers for everybody. Here's something to think about, that's all.' "
As much as he hopes men will internalize and, more importantly, apply the material he presents in The #1 Dad Book, one of his goals is simply to create an opportunity for them to engage about a subject they're often reluctant to discuss: "If you can, don't be afraid to talk to you friends, or even your partner." he urges. "Sometimes guys don't want to be vulnerable, even with the person they live with or are married to."
Patterson also believes booksellers will be performing a valuable service by getting the book into the hands of their customers. "You will help families that walk into the store. You will help dads. A lot of them aren't going to read the 400-page book. What this thing does is compress the information, serve it up in a voice they can be comfortable with and that's useful."
Ultimately, Patterson will be grateful if his book can help make some men better at the vital job of being a father: "You've got a lot of guys out there who don't really understand what it takes to be a dad. They haven't really thought through how important it is. Some of them aren't quite willing to make the sacrifices, but this can help. That's a good thing, in my opinion." --Harvey Freedenberg, freelance reviewer