If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You is a delightfully over-the-top sapphic romance by Mae Marvel, the pseudonym of authors Ruthie Knox and Annie Mare, who previously co-authored Everyone I Kissed Since You Got Famous. Yardley Whitmer III is sad that her relationship with her feisty girlfriend, KC Nolan, is crumbling. But since Yardley is also the Unicorn, one of the CIA's top field agents, she doesn't have time to dwell on the fact that she's moving out soon from KC's house.
But when an undercover mission goes awry and Yardley finally meets a tech called Tabasco in person, she discovers that Tabasco is none other than her soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, KC. Now Yardley and KC are really in trouble, professionally and personally: they must recapture a digital superweapon from a bunch of scary bad guys, and face the fact that they've been lying to each other for three years.
Comparisons to Mr. & Mrs. Smith would be apt, but If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You goes a bit deeper. Yardley and KC come to understand that their relationship tanked because they wouldn't open up. They had both blamed their reticence on their tradecraft, but knowing each other's work secrets means that they must also acknowledge the vulnerabilities they've been concealing. Cleverly turning many tropes of the espionage genre on their heads, If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You is a rollicking good time and sure to appeal to fans of Casey McQuiston. --Jessica Howard, former bookseller, freelance book reviewer