Psychotherapist and author of the Atlantic's "Dear Therapist" column, Lori Gottlieb (Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough) has spent time both in the therapist's seat and on the couch. She knows "a therapist will hold up a mirror to patients, but patients will also hold up a mirror to their therapists." In this memoir of crisis and healing, she illuminates the therapist-client relationship by describing her therapy experience during a personal crisis, supplemented with the stories of three special clients she counseled in the same period.
When Gottlieb's boyfriend breaks off their relationship, citing an aversion to helping raise her son, he takes her by complete surprise. Heartbroken and riddled with anxiety, she deals with her feelings the way any good psychoanalyst would: she goes to therapy. After asking for a referral "for a friend," she makes an appointment with Wendell Bronson, whom she chooses in part because he has children and therefore seems more likely to share her opinion that her now-ex is, in fact, a sociopath. Instead of confirmation that her ex has deep-seated issues, though, Gottlieb's sessions with Wendell take her on a trek through the fears and worries she hasn't expressed, even to herself.
At the same time, in her own practice, Gottlieb counsels three clients who make lasting impressions. Julie, a young newlywed, needs to work through the grief of a death--her own, approaching quickly due to a rare cancer. John--who calls Gottlieb his hooker because he pays her in cash to hide her existence from his wife--conceals a tragedy under his snarky façade. Rita, a divorced senior citizen, wants to commit suicide if her life doesn't improve over the next year.
Wry and compassionate, Gottlieb offers an intimate perspective on client-therapist interaction and insight into the therapist's point of view. The juxtaposition of her experiences as client and practitioner brings a candor to the narrative that emphasizes therapists not as experts, but as feeling human beings. In relating her own emotional journey, Gottlieb's self-deprecating humor charms and disarms as she quips, "Who do I think I am, Elizabeth Gilbert...?"
The catharsis and growth she undergoes in her sessions with no-nonsense Wendell mirrors her own clients' awakenings. Seen through the lens of her training and care, each of their struggles resonates with pain and hope, and frequent asides on psychological theories add a cerebral slant. Heartwarming and upbeat, this memoir demystifies therapy and celebrates the human spirit. Gottlieb describes writing it as similar to making a documentary on crocodile embryos: "I want to capture the process in which humans, struggling to evolve, push against their shells until they... crack open." --Jaclyn Fulwood, blogger at Infinite Reads
Shelf Talker: Gottlieb, who writes "Dear Therapist" for the Atlantic, explores the client-therapist relationship from both sides in this raw, thoughtful memoir.