Sex is one of those eternally beguiling subjects. Even once the mystery of where babies come from is dispelled, there is that persistent, even nagging sense that one might be doing it wrong. For Popular Science executive editor Rachel Feltman, that insecurity festered for years under the wet blanket of a Sunday school education that further foisted shame upon pretty much all carnal acts. So, it would be fair to suggest that the wildly entertaining Been There, Done That: A Rousing History of Sex is as much an act of reclamation and redemption as it is an eye-opening stroll through a rather colorful evolutionary history of sexual activity.
"I'm writing this because I hope you can learn quickly what it took me far too long to learn: that today's mainstream definition of sex is deeply flawed and that this has the ability to cause us harm," Feltman writes in her introductory chapter, "Everything Weird Is Normal--Everything Normal Is Weird." Without wasting any time, she then discusses duck penises; homosexuality in the wild, wild west; "a blob with 720 sexes that displayed both fungal and animal characteristics"; and the "really stupid" yet commonly accepted calendar for clocking weeks of pregnancy.
It would seem that Feltman has left no stone unturned when it comes to facets of gender, intercourse, masturbation, sexually transmitted infections, birth control, performance anxiety, pornography, kinks, etc. And through the sheer volume of examples she wields with no shortage of quips, asides and witticisms, there does seem to be ample evidence to suggest that, yes, somewhere, someone has indeed been there and done that. "That weird thing you like? It's fine. I promise," she assures readers. "Like, really. It's probably not even that weird. Like, not to offend you? I'm sure you're a unique snowflake and all, a real rebel without a cause, but, like, trust me, people have been weirder." Right down to the ancient Egyptian use of crocodile dung as a barrier method, or the 19th-century cottage industry of goat testicle grafts for virility--Feltman makes a fairly airtight case!
After such a kaleidoscopic ride, Been There, Done That resolves without being especially titillating, nor didactic. It shines, instead, as an irreverent invitation to be enchanted by one's body, rather than ashamed; to be present in desire, rather than dislocated from it; to cast off the veil of insecurity and embrace one's whole self. --Dave Wheeler, associate editor, Shelf Awareness
Shelf Talker: This colorful evolutionary history of sex from the executive editor of Popular Science makes a refreshingly assured case against shame and insecurity.