Plans for Major Book World Pivot Revealed
A working group of representatives from all parts of the book business has been meeting secretly and is implementing an industry-wide program to accommodate current political and economic realities, Shelf Awareness has learned. Several book people--who asked for anonymity because of the sensitivity of the discussions--confirmed the project and supplied Shelf Awareness with documents outlining the program, which will lead to deep changes in the book world that reportedly have been approved by a range of publishers, distributors, and booksellers.
The key idea is to adopt principles from the MAGA world in order to appease the MAGAverse and maybe outdo it. As one participant said, "The basic idea is if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." The group calls itself Making Allowances for the Government's Opportunistic Officials, or MAGOO.
Among the elements of the MAGOO program:
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| "Book sales beyond belief." | |
Data, definitions, "fake and bad news," and other "constraints of the past" will be "liberated." This means, for example, that sales figures will be "refreshed." While "naysayers" initially found that book industry sales rose only 1.1% in 2025, now word is that 2025 sales were "the best ever, better than other media industries, praised by some of the best people." And first-quarter sales in 2026 are up "tremendously, beyond belief. People are saying the industry is going to have the best year ever."
Likewise, the nearly 6,000 BISAC categories and subcategories and sub-subcategories that make classifying books tedious will be replaced by just a few categories: "Good Books," "Damned Good Books," "The Best Books," "Even Better Books." The other new categories include "Evil," "Vile," and "Trash."
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| MAGOO Task Force Advisor Robert Kennedy Jr. | |
MAGOO has also established a Word Task Force to address the problem of language. As Task Force Advisor Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., observed, "In the way that vaccines cause autism, words cause all kinds of maladies and awkwardness. Without words, there would be no stuttering, no illiteracy, no misspelling, no weird gravelly voices, no translating problems, no grammar Nazis." The head of Health & Human Services continued, "Words can be subversive, deceptive, twisted. It's better to rely on vision, sound, smell, the tactile senses." MAGOO foresees that with its advances in technology such as digital audio, e-books, and print-on-demand, the industry can adapt to a wordless future, particularly by expanding partnerships with the film and TV industries.
Amazon, which is in the process of being renamed AImazon, is providing assistance in the "fine art of flattery," as MAGOO put it. AImazon founder Jeff Bezos pointed to the company's purchase and marketing of the documentary Melania, about the esteemed First Lady, saying, "Seventy-five million is chump change when it comes to getting on the far right side of the powers that be. Melania was only the beginning. The animals are hungry! Get ready to pay even more to get the grants and contracts and anti-trust overrides and crushing of competitors that you want!" Bezos added that "the hands are always out" for contributions to presidential events, building projects, celebrations, "right down to the cash bar at White House State Dinners!"
MAGOO plans to develop panels that will sort through book proposals and highlight manuscripts that won't antagonize anyone. In effect, the panels will act as acquiring editors. While acknowledging that some "radical left insane book types" may protest, MAGOO noted the approach's many advantages, including a streamlined rights and acquisition process. As one participant put it, "We spend so much money on acquiring books and then defending books in court. This will be so much more cost-effective."
MAGOO will also ban the words "ban" and "banned" since "everyone's got an opinion, and in our opinion, that should be respected. Ergo there are no book bans!"
While most contributors to MAGOO wish to remain anonymous, the Steering Committee has happily allowed itself to be identified. It consists of Chad G.T.P., Aleksa, Met-AI, Cop-alot, and Jemini. They all say hello to the business ("books is good!") and want to meet more publishers and talk and sip wine while barges float down the river and the sky welcomes the sun, and to help and to learn more and to devour all verbiage and emphasize that books and programs about detection of AI use will no longer be published. "Thank you so much!" they wrote. "We love you all!"








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